41st Wedding Anniversary and a Poll


I still can’t wrap my head around that number. It doesn’t seem possible that that many years have passed. When we passed 30 years I felt like we were part of the old timers’ club, the kind where we give knowing looks to one another because we survived being married to one person without an injunction.

After we hit the 40 year mark, we were not quite part of the noble gang of the 50+ marrieds, but we had a good chance of getting there, so they cut us some slack.

This year is number 41. I sometimes wonder why Greg hasn’t traded me in for a younger model, but I have a sneaking suspicion it’s because he enjoys comfortable and familiar surroundings. A younger woman wouldn’t understand half his jokes. Besides, she could never keep up with what I do all day. πŸ™‚

That brings me to the bone I have to pick with Greg. Please tell me if you recognize this scenario or if it only happens to me.

Why is it I can empty the garbage a hundred times and not expect one iota of recognition, but Greg does it ONE time and he has to make sure to mention it so I can commend him on it?


Why? Why, I ask you?

It’s like that scene in the movie, Kate & Leopold where Kate’s brother gives Leopold stellar advice. He shows him how to load the dishwasher, but tells him to wait to turn it on, so that she SEES him doing it.

Men! I think it’s just men anyway. I’ve never heard of a woman doing this.

Anyway, I love my shadow. He might not anticipate my every need, but he’s there when I need him most. And he even made dinner last night!

Happy anniversary, hubby. Here’s to 41 more.


This is a picture of our wedding bands. We haven’t worn them in a long time. We did at first, but then Greg nearly ripped his finger off when it caught as he jumped off a metal platform at work. I kept taking my rings off (and constantly misplacing them) because I painted in oils. Finally, we stopped wearing them all together.

As it happens they no longer fit anyway. Between arthritis and weight gain, my fingers are no longer that tiny size of 4 Β½. We still have them though along with both engagement rings. (Yes. I gave Greg an engagement ring too.) I’d like to trade them in for something else, but Greg’s sentimental, so back in the box they go.

If you’re married, do you still wear your wedding band? Are we atypical for not wearing ours?

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  1. Congratulations!

    Hubs does all sorts of stuff around the house and I always thank him. And he thanks me for the stuff I do. It’s just a thing.

    Yeah, I stopped wearing my wedding ring years ago because it doesn’t fit. And I can’t resize it because it’s titanium. I keep it on a chain and put the necklace on when we go somewhere special, though. He wears his off and on. I think it’s on this week. Funny story: Some guy hit on me years ago in a grocery store. When I told him I was married, he said ‘you’re not wearing a ring’ as if I was lying to him. I told him, ‘that’s because I gained a bunch of weight and it doesn’t fit’ in a voice that implied ‘thanks for bringing that up, butthead’. He scurried away. Heh. Well, I had a good laugh anyway.

  2. Beth: Thanks! A friend once asked me if I got hit on with my ring off and I told her, no. I tend to make most guys nervous (so Greg says). LOL! I think they know from my demeanor that I’m not potential quarry.

    Occasionally, I have met men that aren’t easily intimidated, but I recognize that and make sure they know I’m married so we have no awkward conversations.

    Greg’s not the jealous type, but he does have a big personality and that can overwhelm weaker mortals.

  3. I would nervously spin my band around on my finger until it ached…so gave it up after a couple years. I bought Dina a nicer ring years later, which she wears (instead).

    Dina walked by as I was reading your blog…I said, “We’re hitting 30 this year, right?” Suggested something special. A cruise? What was I thinking. As though Dina could spend one night away from our ailing 15yo Labrador.

    • Mac:
      re: What was I thinking. As though Dina could spend one night away from our ailing 15yo Labrador.

      That’s us too. We’ve given up many trips because we had a geriatric dog at home. The last trip we took, I got a call from the kennel. Chelly refused to eat for 3 days. I was about to fly home when I asked my friend to stop by. She hand fed her for the rest of my vacation. I have great friends.

  4. Happy Anniversary!! Hubby and I will celebrate 37 on Dec 1.

    Yes, we still wear our bands (which are similar to yours–gold with a black inlaid design–must have been a thing in the 70s, huh? I love it, though). We had them enlarged several years ago. Now his is too big (after that weight loss), but mine still fits. I keep waiting for the day when mine’s too big. I think I’ll be waiting a looooong while. πŸ™‚

  5. Happy Anniversary! Our 36th one is tomorrow! I still can’t believe its been that many years! Wishing you and Greg many more years together!

    I had to laugh about taking out the garbage. I do it the majority of the time here. I had to bite my tongue the other day when hubby took something out to the recycle bin. I wanted to say “wow, you know where its located” but I didn’t. I have to laugh too. He likes to carry the grandchild into the store or stroll him in the stroller when out and about yet I do about 99% of the care taking for him at the home, diaper changing, playing with him, etc. I said to him the other day if he is going to do that, he needs to do some care at home for him. Otherwise, he’s just enjoying the benefits of holding him for the attention the wee one gets πŸ™‚

    I haven’t worn a wedding ring in years. We got new bands about 12 years ago, wore them for a bit, but my fingers swell and its uncomfortable to wear. Hubby wears a ring, but mainly because he’s “out in the world” and wants people to know he indeed is married. I know in my heart I’m married; don’t need to wear the ring to symbolize it.


    • Betty: Early Happy Anniversary.

      I’m glad we’re not the only ones who don’t wear bands. Like you, we don’t need the symbol to know we’re married.

      re: garbage
      When he does this I often wonder if he realizes who changed the garbage bin the last 99 times. Maybe he thinks we have house elves. πŸ˜€

  6. Congratulations and happy anniversary!!

    We wear our wedding rings, and I still wear my engagement ring. It’s a small diamond in a plain setting and it reminds me how far we’ve come – emotionally, physically, financially, etc. He’s since given me more expensive pieces, which I love, but the engagement ring holds its own when it comes to value. πŸ™‚

    • Madeline: Thank you! Engagement rings are very expensive nowadays. Mine is pretty simple too. I have small hands and (back then) tiny fingers. Anything large would’ve looked ridiculous on my hand. As it was, it kept slipping off my finger.

      I was very proud of my rings but they were a great deal of trouble since my hands were always in something mucky or oily.

  7. Happy anniversary!!! And OMG…YES to the trash. Or the laundry, dishes, feeding the dog… And even things that are “his” to do–I have to go say, “ooh” and “ahh” over them. “Did you see I trimmed all the shrubs?” Or, “Did you notice I weed-eated the entire yard?” I never say, “Did you see I did the laundry?”

  8. Happy anniversary. That’s a great number. We’re a few behind you. My husband and I both wear our bands though there were years I didn’t wear my diamond because I had lost the stone twice. Playing softball meant the left hand in the glove and it wasn’t good for the setting.
    Wishing you many more years together even if he expects praise for something like taking out the trash. It’s the same at my house.

    • Thanks, Susan.

      re: diamond
      Oh, no! I’d be so upset if I lost the setting, though I once lost the whole ring in a hotel room. Luckily the hotel maid found it. I was sweating bullets because I couldn’t remember where I lost it.

  9. Happy Anniversary — 41 years with the same guy is simple amazing. Me and my man are happily unmarried, so we don’t have any official anniversary, but we’ve been successfully living in sin for 32 years now. πŸ™‚

    I can’t wear rings because of my arthritis, and he can’t because of his job, so we skipped that tradition, too. Sometimes I feel a little jealous of other ladies with lovely rings, but mine would just end up on a chain around my neck, too.

    My guy also does the announcement thing, which I think is cute. I sometimes praise him lavishly for tackling such incredibly hard tasks as taking out the dogs, clearing the sink and washing his own uniforms until he squirms. So he doesn’t do it very often, lol.

    • Thanks, Lynn.

      re: I love the look of rings but it’s a useless luxury on my hands. My hands are always in something where I don’t want my fancy jewelry to be.

      re: announcement
      LOL! I wish I could get away with that but I think Greg might throw something at me.

      Poor babies. We ask so much of them.

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